Empowering Newly Married Women Through The First Years Of Marriage.

Newly Married: Now The Real Journey Begins!

You are newly married. It all begin when…

He “Asked”.

Newly Married: Now The Real Journey Begins!

Marriage is an inside-out journey!
Look within to have the marriage you dream of.

You said “Yes”.

Together you said, “I Do”.

Now the real journey/story begins……

Congratulations on walking down the aisle into your marriage!

When you are newly married there are many things to take care of.

The first couple weeks, after the wedding, is tying up loose ends from your big day. Like changing your name. If your needing help with this read out this great post on Newlywed Survival: Changing your name.

After things begin to settle down you find yourself yearning inside. Yet you just don’t know what this yearning is for or why it’s happening.

Some days you feel beside yourself. Even like you are ready to crawl outside of your skin. You may even feel withdrawn from a lot of your life that you had before you got married.

Does this sound familiar?

Awesome. Awareness is key. No need to beat yourself up here. Do you know that self-sabotage is the opposite of self-love?

This is a time of transition and it’s normal. In fact I’ll tell you a secret…..come closer: This is part of you’re “I Do” journey that happens from walking down the aisle; it’s supposed to happen.

It means you are on track. Yes, with all the crazy mixed up, unexplainable emotions in all.

So let’s dive into some of the areas I find newly married women find themselves at wits end about and what step you can do to begin getting clarity on this journey.

The First Years of Newly Married Life

Often times you will spend some time setting up your home. This will be a learning curve for those who haven’t lived together. For those who have been living together, you might not have a lot to do here.

A word of caution. Just be careful to not focus so intently on making your house a home that you use this as your one and only focus. As I teach my private clients it’s the “White Picket Fence Syndrome”. Oops, I let the cat out of the bag. That’s okay you need to know.

You’ll need to spend some time learning to do finances together. If money is going to be done separate you will still have communication on the household budget to talk with one another on.

Those are just a few of the external, masculine, things going on. There is one that I find most newly married women find themselves longing for answers for.

Especially up to this point in your life you are more comfortable in the masculine energy. As society as so well-conditioned us for too.

When the feminine energy shows up you find yourself unsure how to handle it. I know it’s true for me. As I had no good role models in my life to model this for me.

It wasn’t till later I had a girlfriend say to me “you can and are both masculine and feminine”. Wow. What? Thank you, Jaime, for opening my awareness. I embraced this new awareness in subtle ways. It wasn’t until my relationship with Stan that it happened at a whole new level.

Like you, I too spent most of my first 36 years in the masculine side. It was safe.

Then I entered into a healthy relationship with Stanley man and that has allowed my feminine side to flourish, blossom open if you will.

This is what you will experience in the first couples years too. Will you experience it with resistance or lovingly welcome it?

That part awakening inside of you that which you are yearning for answers for is….

The Silent Inner Transformation

Walking down the aisle is your second big Life Rite of Passage.

What’s a Life Rite of Passage?

As humans, we are designed to evolve on this journey. We’re not designed to handle going from a baby to a mature adult -hood all at once.

You evolve through life rite of passages. There is seven major life rite of passages you will experience. Your first one was your teen years. Did you acknowledge and celebrate this one?

Marriage, by design, or as I call it the purpose of your marriage is to help you evolve to that next level on your life journey. As a newly married spouse, you will find that you are given lessons to help you release old parts of you.

You will find yourself releasing old parts of your identity that you have taken on falsely as being you. I have an example of one of mine and it happened with the Passing of Uncle Ken. I’ll be sharing it in my newsletter in December.

As a newly married women, you will find your spouse is a mirror for you. A mirror to help heal your and grow toward your higher self.

Remember this is happening to both you and your spouse as individuals. There is also a piece of this transformation that is silently taking place for your friends and families too. It’s a time for those relationships to redefine their role in your life. Regardless of how close you have been or not been. This phase will still transpire.

This is a good time to be establishing new boundaries. For yourself and for your marriage. To help you; you can read more here on the series I did – Boundaries Baby!

Your newly married years is a time to get clarity on your expectations of marriage

Take some time to discover what you want for your marriage. Focusing only on the external, masculine task that we talked about in The First Years of Marriage will leave you yearning for understanding more of what f*ck is going on with you!

Take some journaling time, for yourself, and get started with this question:

What is your idea and expectations of your marriage?

I find most women don’t really think about what their marriage will be like. I know I didn’t in my first marriage. So this is why I ask you. Take some time to be with this question.

Notice I didn’t ask about the both of you. I asked what you want and desire for your marriage.

There will be time later when you will answer this as the “we” that you now are. But until you are clear on your picture of marriage, then save the “we” for later.

When you skip the “you”, you are beginning to create or seed in some codependency to your newly married life.

I don’t think you want to plant seeds of codependency, right? I know I’ve been there. Done that. And I’m not going back….lol.

I want to hear from you!

So tell me what clarity did you discover on your expectations of marriage? As a newly married women that you hadn’t given thought until now.

Share in the comments below.

I have also created just for you free call series called:

Is This What Marriage Really Is?
Learning To Grow In The Early Years of Marriage.

Join us for the upcoming FREE call series!

P.S. I’m on a mission to help stop so many newly married women go through their first years of marriage who are silently suffering. Do you know of anyone who might be? Please share this community with them so they too can stop suffering silently.

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