Empowering Newly Married Women Through The First Years Of Marriage.

Busting the Myth that “Marriage is WORK”

False Expectations of Marriage

Today I am busting the myth that “marriage is work”.


It’s creating a false expectation of marriage, and it’s my biggest pet peeve in what I see being taught to us on how to help or grow our marriage and to feel more connected to your partner or spouse.

If you have this belief about your relationship or marriage, then I encourage you to keep reading with an open mind. Because I know, it will help you in your relationship. I live by this philosophy daily.

Marriage being “work” is talked about everywhere and not just by a therapist or counselors. I see other women helping young wive’s, on her marriage, in forums and when I see the phrase “marriage is work” I get so darn annoyed!

You see our culture has trained us that marriage is work and to pull up your sleeves and dig in essentially.

Instead, I want you to understand the truth.

I was even having this same conversation with my two oldest kids, who are teens and dating, and I made sure they understood the difference on what the “work” is really about.

The truth is, that the “work” is on YOU! Marriage is an inside-out journey. Look within to have the relationship or marriage you dream about. Tweet This!

By design, your marriage is to make you grow toward your higher self. Your spouse is a mirror for you. On your good, the bad and the ugly of what you need to heal and grow on.

“The Work” is about you healing your past hurts and releasing them. When your spouse or partner triggers you.  He is giving you a reflection of yourself on what you need to look at.

If you are not triggered, but he’s the one exploding on you or at you, then you are triggering something for him. Don’t take it personally. Yes, I know it’s easier said than done.

Remember, just like he is your mirror, you are a mirror for him. And he needs to do “the work” on himself on what you triggered and reflected for him.

Don’t fall into the trap of taking responsibility and try and do the “work” for him. It doesn’t work that way.

Be careful not to fall into the Spouse-Pleasing syndrome either. Most will fall into this when you make your spouse uncomfortable or your uncomfortable with the way he is reacting. Even if he tries to make you take ownership of it. Don’t do it. This is what codependency is. I’ve been there done that and you don’t want to.

He could give you the cold shoulder or even silent treatment. Those are acts of his ego.

Stand in your power and own what is really happening.

But it’s time to stop saying that marriage is “work” and own the responsibility that “the work” is about you. Tweet This!

Part of the other reason that you might have taken on this belief on is that we have a misconception of “doing” our relationships.

So next week we will dive into the next false expectation of “doing” your marriage.

I hope this helps you on your #MarriageJourney. I would love to have you in the Soul Love Relationship Club. A group to help women grow & thrive in their love and marriage journey.

Check in with Your Expectations of Marriage

So do you feel that marriage is work?

Share in the comments below. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this perspective about marriage being “work”.

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