Empowering Newly Married Women Through The First Years Of Marriage.

Is Your Love Tank On Empty?

Do you have days when you feel not-so-loved?

I bet. I know that I have these kinds of days.  And most times these days pop up when I’m overwhelmed and a little tired. I find my energy might not be in the right place or a particular task causes the tiredness to settle in deeper.

In moments like these I can feel underappreciated and unloved.

How about you? Do you ever feel unloved?

Why do we allow our ego to think these thoughts? (If you are wondering why I use the word “ego,” take a look at my post about living a soul centered life vs. an ego centered life.)

These feelings happen when our “love tank” is on empty.  We are completely drained and the “low fule” light is on!  The best thing to do is find a way to fill yourself up.

There are two ways your love tank get’s filled up:

GIVING LOVE

If you, like me, have a BIG heart, I bet you feel loved the majority of the time when you are giving endless energy and time to others. Am I right?

I even feel guilty when I say “No” to someone who needs my help. Later, this sometimes leads to resentment toward the person, thing or event. And this can quickly send you down the rabbit hole into self-sabotage. A form of not loving yourself.

You know that gut feeling you had the moment you said “yes” but deep down you really wanted to say “No”.

This is a lack of boundaries and love for yourself. You are sending a message to your soul that its messages, hopes, and dreams are not important.

What is one step you can take to begin putting a boundary in place?

Can you make a commitment to yourself (your soul) that you will say no without guilt the next time? What you desire to do is just as important as the person who is asking for your time and help.

RECEIVING LOVE

This one is a doozey for most women with a big heart.

How are you at receiving love (from others)?

Do you have an “I can do it all” attitude?

I bet you don’t allow many to support you the way you expect others to let you help them.

You cannot fill your love tank with only GIVING. It takes being in the flow of both GIVING & RECEIVING. {Tweet That!}

Love comes to you in the same forms you are capable of giving. And most often we over-give what we are wanting, needing or desiring to give to our self.

What is one way you can allow yourself to begin receiving love?

DECIDE & ALLOW

Do you know which energy is your natural state?

I know for myself I have spent most of my life, since a very early age, in the state of “Giving my Love to others.” This was my only interpretation of what love is and how love transpired.

It probably didn’t help that growing up we hear all the time “don’t be selfish and you must always give, give and give some more” in order to be a good rounded (citizen) person. No one wants a needy person.

It’s only been the last two, maybe, three years that I have been better about allowing myself to receive love.

I’m not even going to go into the how-to’s of allowing. I’ll save that for another post.

There is a step that must happen before you can begin to allow yourself to receive more love, especially for those of us with BIG hearts who do so much for others first.

Are you ready for it?

Okay, then. Let’s do a really short exercise to really get your body, mind and soul ready.

With me?

Good.

Sit with your feet on the ground (floor). Shoulder’s back, arms free and relaxed. No having crossed arms. You want your heart open.

Take a deep breath, from deep in your belly, exhale slooowly. Repeat for 2 or 3 deep breaths. Or more if you desire. How many your body is telling you it needs.

Place one or both hands on your heart.

Repeat the following either silently to yourself or for a really bold, draw the line in the sand moment, say it out loud. Whichever way your soul desires to say it.

♥  “I am open and ready to begin receiving all forms of love to fill my love tank.”

♥  “I promise to set better boundaries around giving my love away that is healthier for me (your physical form) and my soul. As my needs, wants and desires are just as important too.”

♥  “I am open and ready to start practicing, in baby steps, ways of receiving love.”

♥  “I am ready to stop having an empty love tank.”

♥  “I am ready to live a healthy balance of both giving and receiving to have a full love tank.”

♥  “I am open and ready to begin receiving all forms of love to fill my love tank.”

Now relax your arms, and begin breathing again. Listen to your body and do however many your body is telling you to do.

Once you are ready, begin wiggling your toes and fingers and open your eyes and come back to your physical space/plain.

How did that feel? Heavy and scared or energized and excited?

Congratulations! You have drawn the line in the sand and DECIDED you are worthy of receiving love too. Your soul thanks you.

I encourage your to grab your journal and express how the exercise made you feel. If you are ready, you could even begin to dialogue, with your soul, in what ways you can begin to be open to receiving love. It could be as simple as asking for help with household chores from the hubby or asking for some time for you. What your soul is desiring to do to nurture yourself?

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