Empowering Newly Married Women Through The First Years Of Marriage.

I have a Confession to Make: I have been hiding!

So my confession is a bit of a sore subject from my childhood and now my adult life.

I have kept my distance emotionally/intimately when working with brides and couples for a really big reason. I was afraid they would find out and see me as a fraud.  I was a product of a divorce as a child and I wanted (at the time) to be divorced.  What would couples think of me, helping them to achieve their vision for their dream day, when I was living in misery myself in my marriage.

For fourteen years I lived in a marriage that was not safe, and un-nurturing in so many ways. It was like living in a frozen time period.  I so wanted to move outside this frozen time capsule and achieve the things I had once set for myself. However I stayed thinking it was best for the kids.  My now ex-husband, didn’t do much hands on parenting, especially when the kids where toddlers. I would make up excuses to myself saying “this stage isn’t for everyone”. I had one person who picked up on this and she said “it does get better when there at the age of 7 to 11 and he will come around”.

Well that never happened and in fact the situation become increasingly more damaging mentally and physically to the kids and myself. I stayed not only for the kids but because I vowed to myself I wouldn’t put my kids through a divorce like I went through as I kid (age 14), however when the hitting become more his norm to our children and there was no remorse, I knew it was time for action. It dawned on me, what I was allowing to happen to my kids, and by continuing to stay what was I teaching them was expectable and normal, which we all know is NOT.

Through moving on, my kids are beginning to understand behavioral expectations that are proper. I have been also saying a phrase for four years to myself and to my sister in conversations. I didn’t quit understand the deep meaning of this phrase till this year. I’ve been saying “I will take the time to talk with my daughter on what love and a marriage is”, then I thought one day why just my daughter and not my two boys too.

You see that wasn’t done for me. I didn’t date in high school and since my parents divorced when I was 14 and mom is the one who left, I was then raised by my dad. Both parents where to wrapped up in their own lives to take the time to talk with my brother, my sister or myself about much, let alone “love and marriage”.  To be honest I don’t think it was done for them either.

Doesn’t make it right, but I think this is a vicious parenting cycle that can be hard for some to see and break the pattern.  I have been told countless times that I have broken my family’s cycle of parenting. It’s come with a lot of work and ignoring those around me who say “You spend entirely too much time dedicated to your kids”.

This is when it hit me: How many other daughters in this world don’t know what love and marriage is?

I am now in a very loving relationship where my kids and I are safe.  Never having this safe environment for over 20 years of my life, I was very perplexed at the feelings of it and am shocked as the support it has given me, allowing so much growth as a person that I never imagined possible.

I see things differently in life now as I have taken this Journey of awakening my soul in this process.  It has showed me what love is and isn’t, and what marriage is and doesn’t have to be.

As I make the transition from a simple Wedding Planner to a Pre-marital counselor allowing me to teach all daughter/brides-to-be what should really be going on during this journey that they are embarking on.  This brings me to the birth of “Love thy Marriage Soul”.  A place for couples to spiritually understand they are creating the soul of their marriage upon their union.  My passion for doing this is coming out in my upcoming book release in 2013: “What Mama didn’t teach you about love and Marriage (That’s okay mine didn’t either)”.

I see and feel that it is okay to share this with you, because I don’t want the same thing happening to you that did to me.

It makes me cry on the inside when I her other women talking about the glamour of their wedding day but don’t truly understand the meaning of it and don’t even talk about what marriage will be like.  Society hasn’t helped this at all with phrases like “Soul Mate” and “Two Become One”.  I have seen most officiates eliminate their counseling sessions for couples because couples have express resistance to it. I see that there is a need in our society right now for it, but from a place that is authentic and spiritual not of religion based in the narrow sense that our culture has created, leaving out the big picture.

So as I begin to step out….it almost feels like I have no clothes on right now…lol..I hope that you will join me on a journey together to express that all Marriages have their own soul.  Here is to all couples who wish to Discover, Awaken and Strengthen their Marriage Soul!

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